because here i don't have a voice as people with good intentions try to run my life. If i stand up for myself, I will look ungrateful and rude. so, because i am trying to follow the cultural norms here, i am unable to be me. and that i hate. here i am a faceless, voiceless doll that they want to mold.
did i also mention that i'm considered "fat with no sense of real style," a direct quote from my aunt and her friends heard by yours truly through a dressing room curtain. "Oh," they laugh, "she's from California, all they do is run around barefoot in jeans and show their chest. She'll learn how to dress well here" Is that what people think of my home, this gross misrepresentation gathered from movies that depict the so-called california life?
hearing shit like this makes me fiercely patriotic and, i hate to admit, a bit bitter of "koreans." To put them in this collective group, based on a few women's thought is wrong, i know, but it is hard not to sink down to their level.
I expected it to be hard, but not this hard.
with all of the trouble with my housing, my overbearing family that meddles, and my loss of voice and self....
i am bitter here and i wish i'd never come.
2 comments:
screw em... ill come over n take care of it
My love, I will keep praying for you. Sorry that it has been so tough so far. What happened with housing? Love you and hope things get better!
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