and sarah came tumbling after...

i had a fall.

i had a 10 foot ladder, standing on the top rung kind of fall.

let me explain...

my best friend, art, is leaving for taiwan so he can pursue his dream of acting/singing. He is leaving on October 7 for about 2 years. I flew up to sf so i can hang out with him and see him off at the airport, the tears, waving, sad song in the background, the works, just like a movie. =] we're dramatic like that. 

before i go on, let me backtrack to the summer. Art loves loves loves Jason Mraz so he decided to write a musical incorporating Jason Mraz songs. a Mrazical, if you will. He started writing and writing and, naturally, after all this writing, he wanted to see some product of his BIG IDEA come to life. So 3 scenes were selected to be filmed for our teaser. We filmed a dance scene in san diego and our second scene the day i flew into sf. 

we had one last scene to film, which was to be at a church. It was a funeral scene, so the mood was set and we had all the extras (consisting of Art's family and friends, as well as some random friday night bible study girls). The scenes with everyone went smoothly, Art climbed up a (pay attention now, my one loyal reader, this detail comes into play later) 10 foot ladder to film part of the group scene. Everything went swimmingly. We sent the extras home. 

We only had to film Art at the pulpit and so I climbed up this ladder and filmed. As soon as I finish filming from that angle, the ladder goes one way and i go down. I hear that things like that happen in slow motion and when i asked art, he told me that he felt as if i was falling forever. I feel like i fell fast, one minute i was on top of the ladder, the next i was midair, crashing towards the floor. 

Then, there's the crash. It was hard, painful and shocking. I can't breathe and art is talking but i can't respond to him, i'm speak but no words come out, i'm just gasping gasping gasping for air. and finally a breath gets in and i'm breathing these awful breaths and i feel like i'm making these disgusting noises i have no control over as i try to breathe. Art's trying to soothe me, but all i care about is breathing when i hear art or paul say something about calling 911. 

now how fucked up is the health care system in the US that in the midst of this craziness and pain all I can think is "i can't afford an ambulance, i don't have health insurance anymore." Seriously, the first words out of my mouth, after i get my first gasp of air, are "don't call 911, i'm okay" because i have to lie, bite my tongue, fight through the pain that is shooting across my entire body, to stop art's friend from calling them. i win. 

i talk art through a body check because he's just as freaked out as i am. and then eventually i get help sitting up. then i stand. art runs for the video camera and films. seriously. i told you this guy is dramatic. paul prays for me and i pray and pray along with him.

i don't want to call tim because i know he'll be worried and upset. helpless is a better word, i suppose. but i call, because that is the natural thing to do. then the floodgates open and i'm crying and crying and the realization that i just fell 12 feet hits me. 

so here i am. sore like 1000 trucks have run over my mid-back and upper butt, but alive and grateful and in awe of HIS grace. no broken bones, no spasms, no bad angle. what do i have to show for this fall? one tiny sprained wrist. 

i am grateful for everything, the angle i fell, not breaking the camera during the fall, the people who were there, the grace of god, the power of prayer, his everlasting love, and most of all i'm grateful to be alive and well. 

i am a girl undeserving.