today was one of those days. and of course i waste time online and read books instead of trying to go back to sleep. but whilst reading i kept hearing a buzzing noise. it started out real slow and quiet so i figured that a dang fly had gotten in my room and was just wisely keeping himself out of sight. but no, the buzzing got louder and then the scratching/tapping started.
when i was in middle school i kept waking up to scratching noises on my ceiling. i told my parents, but the noises would always stop when they came up to my room. i probably looked crazy. one day, i forced my dad to just sit in my room and then the noises started. yay! people rejoiced across the land. i was NOT hearing things, the noises were REAL! my dad told me that some creature was probably holing up in some part of our roof, probably raccoons. So the next day, my dad did what every heroic dad would do, he went up there, after those little buggers went out for the day, and boarded up the hole. Dad: 1, Raccoons: fail Yes, we took their habitat from them first, but if you really want, we can fight about that in person. set up an appointment with my assistant. want his number? too bad suckaaaaa! woah, let's get back on track.
So tonight, i immediately thought, man those raccoons sure are persistent, they must have broken through the wood and moved back in after 11 years. hey, who knows, maybe living on top of my bedroom is prime real estate in the raccoon world. So my choices were to either sleep in my room with my nice, already warm bed or move to my old room with it's cold, probably-gonna-take-a-good-10-minutes-to-warm-up blankets, i decided i would suffer through the noise. So i turned out the lights.
miraculously the noise stopped. My old raccoon friends weren't as considerate in the past. then, I, at 6:04 in the morning thought it would be the most brilliant idea to do an experiment and so i decided to test them. i turned on the light, then turned it off, on, off, on, off, on. these buggers must have just been protesting the light invading their sleep. So while the light was on, I noticed that the noise was coming, not from the roof, but from my window. i decided to do a sneak attack on them and catch them in the act. I opened the blinds with a swift hand and stood there in my underwear looking out into the street through a window (which takes up almost the entirety of my wall) that was a-buzzing with BEES!
bees all over the window, attacking the window with their stingers, crawling everywhere. As i stood baffled, exposed in my hippie love green panties for all of deeplawn to see, the bees attacked the window with such force that i thought the window would no longer hold up to the pressure of all their stingers. I turned off the lights and closed the blinds.
Bees: 1
Me: Fail
I am going to guess that the bees have a place under the roof. so now i am sitting in the dark typing on my computer (with the light not facing the window as to not disturb the bees), wanting to read, but scared to turn on the light. man, o man.
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