i should give it up, but i probably won't. this cycle of wretchedness i put myself in is just too addictive.
i think i have a slight problem with addiction, but it's temporary. i don't know if it's because i monitor myself or if i, just as easily as i get addicted, lose interest. maybe it's the need to move on, but before i do i get so enamored and consumed.
people, books, ideas, shows, websites, blogging, clothes, accessories, clubs, feelings, alcohol, music, tim.
it's never enough. i should re-focus all of my energy.
i wish i were as addicted to God. that is what i want to be. a jesus freak. =] because he never fails, as i am constantly failing; he always loves, as i am (awful to admit) judging; he always available, as i am only available when convenient for me; he is selfless, i, always selfish.
and he still loves me. me, confused and undeserving. he should be enough for me.
I struggle a lot in my relationship with God. This is a relationship I will always work on and always come back to. I'm addicted to this relationship. As many times as I go off in in the wrong direction, I come back to Him and this place.
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